Tuesday, 24 July 2012


I have, of late, taken to imposing a fine of a pound on anyone misusing the word awesome in my hearing.

A surprising number of the guilty, once the error of their ways is pointed out, pay up without protest and resolve not to sin again.

The encore at tonight's Late Prom given by the Kronos Quartet was Clint Mansell's piece 'Death is the Road to Awe'.

Check it out on I-Player dudes.  It was awesome.

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Olympics vs Grindr

As the Olympics begin and ruin all our lives.... 

I like many others, have underestimated their impact on our local community.

Within hours of the Olympic athletes arriving in London, the Sun newspaper reports that the GPS based gay 'dating' website Grindr crashed, with their server claiming "overuse".

I'm beginning to regret my decision to flee the city of my birth.

To those that ARE staying.  Please look after the Russian weightlifters for me......

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Banks are tits

It is tempting to despair.

Barclays fix Libor.

 HSBC launder drug money.

The rest...  well we're waiting on that one.

Oh - if you are wondering - the image on the left is what you get if you do a Google Images search for "Banks".

She's called Tyra, apparently.

Might it be time to give up?

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Soundscape on a sunny Sunday

It being a sunny Sunday, lunch was called for.

A small collection of planned for, and unplanned for people, assembled in the garden.

As I repaired to the kitchen to interview cook, a sound came upon me.

Laughter. Pure, unadulterated laughter. From people who knew each other and from those that didn't. Joy. Just joy.

Oh. And then I washed up to Wagner.

Please, St Swithen. Let it stop raining.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Higgs Boson goes to Church

The Higgs Boson particle goes to church.

The priest says "Go away, we don't need you here".

Higgs Boson says "Fine Father, but on your head be it. Without me, you don't have Mass."

Monday, 9 July 2012

Mulieres episcopi

In 1992 I caused enormous personal upset in my parish when, encouraged by a priest called Rowan Williams, I voted against the Measure that led to women being ordained as priests in the Church of England.

I did so on the grounds that the Measure, in denying women admission to the Episcopate, embodied discrimination and had no place in the Church.

However the Measure was passed and the Church, and particularly women called by God to serve it as Bishops, have endured a further two decades of VD.  (Vocation denial.)

Had the 1992 Measure been rejected we would have had women serving as Bishops for a decade by now. Today's vote shows that General Synod have learned from the 1992 mistake and appear unwilling to repeat it.

Deo Gracias.

I was asked recently by a friend whether the word 'compromise' had any part in my vocabulary. The answer in 2012 is the same as it was in 1992.

In that at least, I have the luxury of being able to remain consistent.

Deo double Gracias.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

A lesson to learn

At this evening's concert given by The Giltspur Singers we enjoyed Ravel's 'Nicolette'.

Nicolette has a great deal to teach us.

She turned down the "handsome page with blue hose and grey doublet".

Instead she plumped for "a grey haired Lord, twisted, ugly, arrogant and potbellied" who asked :

"Hey there, my Nicolette, would you like all of these gold coins?"

Quickly she ran into his arms.

What a sensible girl.

Friday, 6 July 2012

Moral high ground

This morning I received a letter from this shower saying I "owed" them money.

On behalf of humankind, I am tempted to reply :

"Au Contraire".

Contributions to my overdraft will not be turned away.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Munching pussy

Cats are about the last sustainable source of meat left on the planet.

Everywhere on the globe where children are malnourished, cats run feral.

Apart from man, they do more to destroy native bird and small mammal populations than any other introduced creature.

If anyone knows of a half decent economic or ecological argument for not overcoming our irrational refusal to eat them, I'd be happy to hear it.

(BTW  Save your fingers...  I know all the emotional ones.)

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Miracles are real

Two parts to this miracle.

Part 1.  I went all the way to Vauxhall. Queued to get into a club and once inside enjoyed myself. (Ok, that's three 'minor' miracles...)


Major miracle. I cycled home on a Boris Bike. Cycled. From Vauxhall to Bethnal Green. Cycled. Without a cab. Cycled I say.

That's 4.6 miles. On a bike? Me? Strewth.

The liturgy of the church has got its work cut out to beat that as a miracle on the morrow I can tell you.